A Cat’s Tale: No Fur Strikes Back
For those who have been reading my blog for a while, you know that my other child is big, orange and fluffy. He’s been doing some guest posts for me about his thoughts on Baby (a.k.a. “No Fur”), in A Cat’s Tale and Further Adventures of No Fur. Here is the latest instalment in his continuing saga.
I get it: I’m pretty. Women just can’t help but throw themselves at me. But this obsession of No Fur’s has got to stop.
There’s no peace for me anymore. I’ll be minding my own business, sleeping on the sofa, and – bam! She’ll come into the room and she’s on me like a slug. I try to wait it out, but her affections are just so over the top that I have to excuse myself. Politely, of course.
Sometimes, I don’t know how she finds me. She must have the nose of a dog. I’m sleeping in all sorts of weird places, just to attempt to hide from her. I even tried to hide somewhere I thought she’d never expect me to be: in her room. I slept on the comfy chair while she was downstairs. But then, suddenly she’s there, being put down for a catnap. Mummy Cat didn’t see me in the room, so I got trapped with No Fur. Well, it didn’t take long for her to sniff me out and then she started meowing at the top of her lungs. Proper caterwauling. I was shocked into silence. My paws were sweating. It seemed like ages before Slave Cat came in and realised what all the commotion was about. I did not enjoy that one bit.
And now this. It’s like I’m in my own episode of Single White Feline. The other day, I was minding my own business, as usual, and she comes in and climbs up next to me on the Big Red Bed. With her, she had a book about jungle cats. Not only that – she was wearing a shirt with cats all over it. I mean, come on! I should have checked for a tattoo.
But that’s not the worst of it. How shocked was I when I saw what she had in her hands: a stuffed cat! I was so surprised that I was frozen to the spot. Is this a warning? Am I going to find a mouse’s head in my bed?
I think I need a Xanax.
Thank you very much to Polarn O Pyret for sending me the lovely kitten top and the gorgeous leggings (not pictured). I think I need get her those kitty socks, too! Baby loved wearing the clothes and was really comfortable. However, my cat will be sending you the bill for his therapy.