One once
16 Jul

My Mini Ginger Ninja

A couple nights ago I almost killed my husband.

He didn’t come home with lipstick on his collar. Nor did he spend our life savings down at the betting shop.


He accidentally wasted an ounce of my expressed breast milk.

James does the 11pm “dream feed” with my milk in a bottle. I spend all day pumping (at least 6 times) in order to squeeze out 4-5 ounces so he has enough for a full feed for Baby. If there is ever any milk left over, he puts it back in the fridge for the 7am feed.

After my 4am feed with Baby on Thursday night, I came tip-toeing out of the nursery, exhausted, only to see the Dream Feed bottle on the stairs with one whole spoiled ounce in it.


Just to explain, I’m lucky if I get one whole ounce in a single pumping session. Some women manage to get a full-feed or more from one pump. I don’t. That stuff is like gold dust to me, so when I saw it sitting there wasted, I saw RED.

I went downstairs to do my middle of the night pump and then walked upstairs to our bedroom, reminding myself with every step that it was an accident and trying not to pick up any sharp objects on the way to bed.

Of course, James felt terrible. He knows how much that milk means to me, especially after the time he spilled some in the fridge and I cried like my grandmother had just been mauled by hyenas.

So he did what any penitent husband would do and he wrote me a song and recorded it on Songify. And here it is:

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I cried again and forgave him. I mean, he wrote me a song, for chrissake. But if he does it again, he’d better hide the German knife set.


  1. 16 Jul


    I fully sympathise Julia. I got the same measly amounts when I expressed and found it the most stressful part of the breastfeeding. I knew I needed to to be able to give that to help through the night and help with adjusting to bottles but it took away from my ME time. I definitely found the electric pump better second time round and I have to be honest although I was completely gutted when the health visitors suggested a top up feed of formula at 10 weeks, it turned out to be blessed relief!

  2. 16 Jul

    Helen Bailey

    I know exactly where you’re coming from! Been there, done that and almost used the Global knives to good effect!

  3. 16 Jul


    Poor you! I think all couples have a ‘lose it’ moment early on with small babies. I have a friend who felt her husband wasn’t pulling his weight one night as he was lying on the bed. She was really over tired and annoyed So she stabbed him in the buttocks with a fork!!! True story!!!(I don’t think she drew blood – just made a point!) I was once struggling to nurse the baby and mike came and sat next to me and started casually munching on an apple.
    I lost it and made him leave the room – funny now of course!
    Hang in there. Sounds like you otherwise have a great routine in place sharing some of the feeds. I could never face doing all that pumping so with talia I did every single feed myself which was exhausting. You are doing so well!!xxx

  4. 17 Jul


    Oh I sympathise, I get the same measley amounts and it sure does feel like gold dust.

    Just been recommending your blog and have to say I love it.

  5. 17 Jul

    Jenny AKA Mrs O

    Also can sympathise! I had the same issues with my supply, it didn’t help that one of my friends kept referring to her milky mammories as ‘water canons’. Hmmmm. Thanks for that, friend.

    Every drop is worth it’s weight in the rarest precious metal x

  6. 19 Jul


    You do know that you’re not supposed to use the milk once the baby drank for the bottle as saliva enters the bottle and bacteria can start growing? That’s what I was told anyway by a breastfeeding consultant….

  7. 20 Jul

    Julia from ICAWatermelon

    Antonina, thanks for that. I’ve just found this thread.
    I really wouldn’t be able to throw it out.

  8. 20 Jul


    Good link, thanks.

    I got into a habit of actually tasting milk from the fridge in any case, it got spoiled once but for other reasons. You can tell right away if it’s good or not!

    Totally know how you feel though, and understand.

  9. 22 Jul


    I love the song! It made me laugh loads. I can see why you forgave him Julia.

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