Hawken_7150 RET
27 Mar

Advice Part I

If there is one thing I’m getting plenty of, it’s advice. Whether it’s from our clients, other mums I’ve met at yoga, or just people I pass on the street, everyone has an opinion. We have a pile of post-it notes in the studio marked “advice” and it’s growing in leaps and bounds. So I thought I’d write a running list of what people have told me I must or mustn’t do, so that you, too, can benefit from their wisdom.

  1. Allow two weeks after birth to bond with the baby and get used to being a family before allowing grandparents to descend. We’ve actually taken this advice and have scheduled our four sets of divorced parents accordingly.
  2. Read Gina Ford.
  3. Don’t read Gina Ford.
  4. Look into hypno-birthing and/or the gentle birthing method. I’m at that point in the pregnancy where everyone is asking me what kind of birth I’m going to have. I’m really not sure yet. I’m thinking the kind where the baby is inside of me and then it’s outside of me.
  5. Regarding the pram, get one where the baby can lie flat instead of using the car seat as a pramseat. It’s better for their backs.
  6. Read Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth. Ina May is a famous midwife in America. I did start reading it, but was a little concerned in the first chapter where she talks about how, in 1971, she and some mates started a commune called The Farm where women did women stuff (like birthing babies) and men did men stuff (like TV/VCR repair). I know that she’s going to spend 300+ pages trying to convince me to have a natural birth, e.g. no pain relief. I’m persevering with the book in small chunks. Will let you know how I get on.
  7. Don’t watch One Born Every Minute. In fact, hang a sign on your belly that says “Please only tell me good birthing stories.” It’s amazing how many people think I want to hear about all that went wrong with their cousin’s friend’s sister’s sister-in-law’s birth. I really don’t.
  8. See your financial planner now. This was actually some really good advice, especially when you own your own business with your partner. It’s important to make sure you have all the right life insurances in place. And something about trust funds. I quite fancy having a child with a trust fund; sounds very posh indeed.
  9. Write a will.

10. One father who came in for a viewing told James to break the breast pump so he doesn’t have to do night feeds. This is not good advice, but rather  badvice. I have burned the post-it note on which it was written.

Just today, as a mother was leaving the studio, she grabbed James’ lapel with a semi-crazed look in her eyes and said, “Do everything now. Go to the cinema. Go to dinner. Go clubbing. Go out every night. Do everything you want to do. Because after your baby comes, there is no going anywhere.” James is now very scared and has started filling up my diary with things like “Jack the Ripper Ghost Walk.”

That’s probably enough to digest for now, but I’m sure I’ll have enough to warrant a part II post by D-Day. Or even a weekly post as there seems to be enough material. And please do let me know what nuggets you’ve been given. Sharing is caring.



  1. 04 Apr

    Helen Sharland

    ‘Up the Duff’ by Kaz Cooke and the best ever ref book ‘Kidwrangling’ by Kaz Cooke
    That’s my advice. The rest…. You’ll know.

  2. 04 Apr

    Liz Gayther

    I LOVE this site!!!!! ;) . Anyway, I’m due with my second baby on May Day and am also a self employed photographer.
    The best bit of advice I ever got was to take ALL advice with a pinch of salt. You’ll be great – just don’t overthink and worry.

  3. 04 Apr

    Eliza Claire

    LOL! Oh yes everyone has an opinion. My best piece of advice, that I was given and that I always share, is “This too will pass” – worth remembering in the bad days, and even more so on the good days when you feel fab because you can put the baby down, clean the house, make some dinner, even get showered and dressed – because these days are irreplaceable, and I wish I’d spent more time just sitting and cuddling my two. Especially my first.

  4. 06 Apr


    Kaz Cooke all the way. You’ll work everything else out just fine for yourselves.

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